The Journey Has Begun: Infertility

Today is my first blog post as a patch blogger. I am writing  here and sharing some of my own blog posts from my personal blog (http://icanonlybemesararosemelby.wordpress.com) Where I will post more about our story. I wanted to open up the eyes of others to the impacts of infertility on a couple. 

BY NO MEANS am I an expert- but my husband and I are going through infertility and I really wanted to share with others who are out there. Many who travel the path of infertility are ashamed, they hide their feelings and emotions. They swallow their tears when family and friends again, and again, ask them when they will have kids. This blog is for all of you out there- don't be ashamed. 

The specialist we are going to says that nearly 48% of couples will encounter fertility issues in some way, whether they are aware of it or not. Things as simple as a thyroid problem and medications can cause trouble conceiving. Most individuals do not know that they are encountering these problems for quite some time. 

I want to share our journey here to promote the discussion so many are waiting to hear is alright to take part in. Most of all- I want to be a voice and address the issues and thoughts couples with infertility have to undertake. If our struggle must be endured, not knowing if we will ever actually have kids, the very least that it can do is be a lesson- for not only us, it can be that and encouragement for others as well.

Please feel free to share questions and ideas you would like me to post on. This blog is not meant to be taken as medical advice, nor is it meant to cause harm to anyone out there. Any inappropriate items posted or commented by others will be removed. THANK YOU!

(icanonlybemesararosemelby.wordpress.com) November 9th:

Over the past two weeks I have had many friends from yester-year contacting me to tell me that they too are traveling the infertility journey. They seek encouragement, they seek hope- but most of all- I get asked, “Is it ok that I feel this way…”

This is what I have found via babycenter.com: ‘”Is it REALLY as bad as she says it is?” Yes. Studies show that women with fertility problems are as stressed, anxious, and depressed as women with cancer, heart disease, or HIV. Blood tests, pills, injections, ultrasounds, and procedures cause stress and emotional upheaval in women. Also, society fails to recognize the grief caused by infertility, so people denied parenthood tend to hide their sorrow, which only increases their feelings of shame and isolation.’ http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-emotional-impact-of-fertility-problems_3933.bc

Thankfully, I’ve not endured the issues of cancer, heart disease or HIV, but I can tell you infertility is the pits! I started this blog to share our journey- and I realize now, even though it has been a while since I have posted, that maybe this blog should become a regular thing. Others out there should know it is ok, that we have emotions and that not everyone walks in our shoes, but it is ok to feel how we do! Anyone going through a medical tribulation in their life needs support. I would like to provide some to others, even if it is simply by showing them it is ok to cry.

I think maybe our story, my blog should honestly be here to help others. That is why I am going to try to commit to blogging at least once every two weeks. I want this to be a place where people who are going through infertility can see they aren’t alone and a place where people who haven’t endured this personally can see what it is that we the infertile live.

I can tell you that since this date in August I have gone to the doctor for blood work, ultrasounds, and tests galore 19 times, and that doesn’t include the “well you are at a size 12 follicle come back tomorrow for another ultrasound” or the “come back in two days just so we can be sure of what is or isn’t going on” ultrasounds, these are just the actual appointments I have written in my planner… I can tell you that I am the girl who sprains her ankle and waits days to go in, I’m the girl who will procrastinate going to the doctor in hopes of feeling better. I don’t procrastinate with infertility, every appointment, no matter how it goes is one step closer. It is knowledge and hope, sometimes appointments are harder than others. The words “not responding” sting! 

This month we have started a new treatment, it is Letrozole, it is often used to treat breast cancer. The doctor decided that at 26 years old she would rather see me try another option before we top out on chlomid, which can and often does have many adverse affects the younger you are. I told the doctor how I tend to experience all of the side effects of the medications, and she said she honestly hopes i experience the side effect of this drug and that we end up pregnant!

So far, this is not our month. I have had a size 12 follicle since day one of this cycle and it hasn’t grown. I don’t know as of now if I will have another ultrasound this month or not, or if we wait for a higher dosage next month. I do know that my uterine lining was much thicker and healthier this month than it has been in the past months of treatment. The chlomid thinned it down and had we become pregnant miscarriage would have been a major concern. The letrozole is however thinning my hair, it falls out in clumps. The things that upset me the most are the ones I joke about with Bryan, my husband, and after quite a few jokes I’d rather be bald completely and a mother! I DON’T CARE! Luckily I have the support of a very loving man, who doesn’t care that I am clogging the shower drain, or that I am strangling the vacuum cleaner. He said if I lose it all it won’t damage the love he has for me. I am truly blessed.

I want to share that love and support that we have for one another- it is important that people do not feel alone!

Does anyone have questions or infertility topics they would like me to address? More than willing.